Perceive ANYONE Round You (Together with Your self!) Utilizing One Easy Device

Ashley:
That is Actual Property Rookie, episode 172.

Nick:
And I imply higher. And the folks round me would’ve had a distinct life too. And I believe, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that, that might pay, I can’t even start to inform you. I totally imagine that’s my space of ardour for positive.

Ashley:
My identify is Ashley Kehr and I’m right here with my co-host Tony Robinson. On this week’s Rookie Reply, now we have a particular visitor for you guys.

Tony:
Such a particular visitor that it nearly felt extra like a remedy session at one level than an everyday Rookie Reply. However right now now we have Nick on the present and Nick is definitely, an enneagram knowledgeable. And once you hear enneagram, it’s a persona kind instrument just like the DISC profile or the Myers Briggs. However this one’s just a little bit completely different and Nick will get into what a few of these variations are and why he feels that this one is definitely, a greater instrument to make use of in your each day life.

Ashley:
Yeah. Nick truly, sat down and spent an hour with every Tony and I and went by what our kind construction needs to be so this was one thing that was very new to me. Did you ever do this sort of testing Tony?

Tony:
No. Tyler Madden had talked about it to me that he had gone by this earlier than and bought lots of worth out of it however this was my first time doing it myself as properly.

Ashley:
I nonetheless can’t pronounce it appropriately. In order you discover by the entire present I keep away from saying the phrase the entire time.

Tony:
Say the phrase now, say it that method. Let’s simply get-

Ashley:
Enneagram.

Tony:
… woo. There it’s. You’ve bought it.

Ashley:
Is that proper?

Tony:
That’s it.

Ashley:
Okay.

Tony:
Yeah. Enneagram.

Ashley:
Let’s save that. We are able to insert it into completely different elements of the episode. Okay. So we’re going to carry Nick on and study what varieties Tony and I are. And likewise why that is essential, what worth it may well carry to your life and others. Nick, welcome to the podcast. We’re very joyful to have you ever on Tony and I’ve each talked to you just a little bit earlier than this episode to get some background. I might love so that you can share with everybody who you might be and why you might be right here right now.

Nick:
To begin with, thanks for having me on. I do know this isn’t your regular factor however I believe it’s simply a type of common human issues that’ll make anyone extra profitable within the issues they do and that features what you guys are as much as. I’ve listened to a number of of your podcasts, I don’t know the very first thing about what you’re do. Properly, I assume I now, know the very first thing about what you’re doing however that’s about it.
I’m an enneagram information, I’ve devoted the final a number of years of my life to it and after I say devoted, I imply perhaps just a little obsessively and it’s a instrument… One of the simplest ways to place it’s, it’s a roadmap, a scaffold to know ourselves authentically, and others higher and in a method that isn’t placing you right into a field and containing who you might be, I believe a couple of different of those instruments which are worthwhile are likely to do. In order that’s what I do with my life is, I assist folks discover their solution to get the filters and the masks off of the little silent voices which are at all times influencing us and that’s by the enneagram.

Ashley:
So what precisely is that?

Nick:
Yeah. Nice query.

Ashley:
Are you able to clarify and break it?

Nick:
No. You all know, don’t you? After all. So enneagram comes by antiquity. It goes all the best way again to monks and the Trappist monks method again 1200 years in the past, utilizing this factor as a method of understanding our emotional habits, our focuses, the issues that encourage us after which that enables us to know ourselves actually after which perceive others actually after which development from that. And so method again when all these years in the past, tons of of years in the past, these monks needed to reside collectively. And I don’t learn about you however residing with a bunch of dudes who’ve taken a sure set of vows would most likely, be difficult. And they also discovered that this was a instrument that allowed them to get alongside authentically and fortunately. It was misplaced, it was obscure for lots of years for hundreds of years and bought refound within the nineteenth century and actually dropped at life by some of us who’re nonetheless doing it right now as a sorter of personalities however much less that and extra of an understanding and a roadmap of who we’re.

Ashley:
How does this examine to the DISC profile or different persona duties which are on the market?

Nick:
Thanks a lot for that query as a result of it’s one I’m keen about. I did all of these issues however I used to be particularly, a Myers Briggs man for a very long time. And man, I nonetheless, I might by no means fault anyone for locating worth in it, it’s extremely worthwhile. I believe the place it’s worthwhile is at a sure level on our path and our journey and what I learn about lots of people however what I do know particularly, about this group is that, you guys are actually about self-improvement, actually about rising and never simply staying stagnant. And I believe if you happen to’re a type of varieties of individuals and also you wish to develop and it’s important to you that you just develop the Myers Briggs is on that line at a spot the place perhaps if you happen to don’t perceive what it’s about you that makes you completely different.
I believe the Myers Briggs can inform you actually loudly and actually precisely. I’m an ENFP, I’m emotional, I’m intuitive, I’m a thinker, I’m a perceiver and I do pondering earlier than I do judging and I’m an extrovert greater than I’m an introvert. And so you can begin to actually perceive who you might be. However as you hear me say all that, you additionally hear me placing these containers round issues. You’re listening to me say, “You’re an introvert and never an extrovert, you’re this, you’re not that.” And I believe there’s a containment that occurs there that’s actually good for letting us perceive our tendencies and our behaviors. The enneagram speaks to our emotional habits, that’s my favourite phrase the place we go emotionally. We’re actually, if we’re paying consideration, normally fairly good at figuring out our habits however not our emotional habits.
The place can we land emotionally simply out of behavior? And the enneagram additionally speaks to our priorities, our driving feelings after which it’s by that. It says, “Properly, since you are likely to function extra out of worry than anger as an illustration, you are likely to go this fashion,” however the enneagram means that you can say, I’m this sort of ENFP. It’s about you, the person so you may put these issues collectively, I’m a Myers Briggs ENFP however I’m an enneagram seven and that’s the type of ENFP I’m. And it’s extra about who you might be and fewer about what you do.

Tony:
Simply from my very own private data, what are you on the Myers Briggs?

Nick:
An ENFP.

Tony:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:06:53]. Obtained you. What about you, Ashley?

Nick:
[crosstalk 00:06:56].

Ashley:
I don’t know.

Tony:
Oh, you’ve by no means taken it earlier than?

Ashley:
I’ve by no means taken it. No, I’ve completed the DISC profile however I’ve by no means taken the Myers Briggs.

Tony:
Okay. What are you on the DISC profile?

Ashley:
I don’t even keep in mind.

Nick:
I don’t know anymore both.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:07:03].

Tony:
Ashley, you’re no hope. So on the Myers-

Ashley:
Okay. I’m going to look it up actual fast.

Tony:
… yeah. We’ve bought to get… I believe it’ll be cool to have this as a part of the dialog too however on Myers Briggs, I’m an INTJ. I don’t actually keep in mind what all these letters stand for nevertheless it’s just like the engineer or the scientist or one thing like that’s what they name it. On the DISC profile, I do know I’m a extremely excessive C after which decrease on the D and the I. So that you see some similarities once you have a look at a few of these completely different persona checks and I do see lots of the identical character traits within the enneagram as I noticed in my examples of the Myers Briggs or the DISC profile. However what I wish to dig into Nick, and perhaps if we will set the desk for the listeners right here is, the Myers Briggs talks, are you intuitive versus judging versus this versus that. The DISC is decisive and cautious and I can’t keep in mind what the opposite ones are. What are the completely different, I don’t know… I assume, classes of the enneagram that individuals’s personalities and motivations et cetera, fall into?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks for the query. I believe it’s actually essentially the distinction, is you’re speaking about these in each these methods within the Myers Briggs and the DISC and others which are on the market, that it’s about, “Do you lean this fashion or do you lean that method? Are you extra of a follower or extra of a pacesetter?” And definitely, these issues are endemic to the 9 various kinds of the enneagram. And once more, enneagram is, ennea is the 9 half if you happen to’re into Latin, I’m not. However there are 9 persona varieties and fewer persona varieties and I exploit that phrase to attempt to relate to the Myers Briggs and stuff nevertheless it’s actually about these archetypes of sure kinds of people. And people sorts of, once more, motivational, what motivates you and the place your emotional habits are.
So for example, I’m a seven and sevens are motivated… So we’re a part of the worry triad. So that you’re both motivated by worry or anger or your coronary heart and as a part of the worry triad, I are usually an anxious individual, I don’t are usually an indignant individual. The truth is, I battle in conditions the place I needs to be indignant, truly, accessing it and doing that however I’m at all times anxious. Now, a seven goes to take care of that by instantly reframing it, discovering a silver lining in, “Life’s good, life’s joyful, we’re at all times optimistic and optimistic.” And from the skin, we have a tendency to simply look that method whereas somebody proper subsequent to me, who’s an eight, so proper close to me on the enneagram is anger based mostly.
And so when issues come of their life which are difficult, they struggle it, they get their defend, they get their sword and so they’re bought to go struggle that factor. So it’s actually about that motivation. So you concentrate on what I simply stated and the complexity of it and the way you’d parse that out into these little classes of ENFP or these different issues in DISC. How would you try this? We’re speaking about elementary driving feelings in you. The place does that land in Myers Briggs, the place does that land in DISC? And I believe they are often complimentary however that’s the elemental distinction, I believe.

Ashley:
Simply earlier than we transfer on actual fast, I did take a minute to look this up. In line with the Tony Robbins DISC profile as evaluation, to not be confused with Tony Robinson DISC profile evaluation, I’m a excessive, I.

Nick:
Is smart.

Tony:
I believe that’s what I favored concerning the enneagram too Nick, is that, such as you stated, the Myers Briggs or the DISC, it talks quite a bit about the way you act however the enneagram was extra so, “Hey, right here’s why you act that method,” which I believe is just a little bit extra instructive as a result of if you happen to perceive your personal motivations, I believe it means that you can do a greater job of being extra self conscious and controlling these weaknesses in your personalities just a little bit higher. I don’t know. Are there different advantages to the enneagram that I’m lacking? Or would you say that’s the actual massive factor that’s the motive force there?

Nick:
Yeah. I believe you nailed the middle of it however I believe the piece that we perhaps aren’t speaking about as a lot right here that I believe particularly, to your viewers is a giant deal, is how that entails itself once you begin interacting with different folks whether or not that’s private or skilled, man or man. To me, essentially the most liberating a part of it’s that potential to completely authentically, perceive others. What are we at all times informed? That essentially the most empathetic factor you are able to do is put your self in another person’s footwear, you place your self of their footwear and we try this of out of nice goodwill if we’re being good folks, we attempt. Properly, if you happen to try this, you’re simply placing your self of their footwear so your whole biases, all of your life expertise, your whole emotional habits and then you definitely go put your self of their footwear and say, “Properly, okay, I perceive why they,” no, you don’t. You perceive how you’d be in that state of affairs and the enneagram permits you to truly, perceive them of their footwear.
And I believe a type of issues particularly, in enterprise partnerships the place issues might be actually perhaps rather less emotionally open, hopefully not however generally. Typically issues can really feel like, “Properly, if I stated that, if I did that, it will be as a result of I used to be actually mad, it will be as a result of I didn’t give a crap, it will be due to these,” however perhaps if you happen to perceive this individual’s kind construction, you perceive that’s under no circumstances what they’re doing, their motivations are simply completely different than yours. You’re a visionary, they’re an in depth individual so after they begin stating the small print which are going to crumble, they’re not selecting aside your dream. They’re attempting that will help you perceive, right here’s some stuff which may go mistaken. That type of stuff so I believe the opposite worth is in groups and in relationships, each enterprise {and professional}.

Ashley:
So we talked about the way it’s essential to take heed to your self from studying about your habits and what kind of individual you might be so that you might be extra aware of your habits and the way you work together with folks. However you touched just a little bit about relationships and speaking with different folks whether or not on their staff. So do you ask folks to go get this testing completed or do you memorize all these varieties after which try to work out what kind they’re? How do you finest strategy that as to determining what somebody’s kind is as a way to work together with them appropriately?

Nick:
Man, what a terrific query. One of many cardinal sins for folks in what I do is that you just by no means kind someone, it is best to by no means ever say, “Oh, you’re an eight and I do know that so da, da, da,” as a result of that’s simply a lot placing someone in a field as something. However there generally is a stage of consciousness and so ideally, yeah, Ashley. You’d if you happen to have been on a staff, I believe it’d be extremely worthwhile to get everyone to go not less than do a tertiary high stage view and get some notion of what kind construction they is likely to be and share that if you happen to’re on a staff that I promise you, the payoff for that’s going to be method increased only for a day or an hour of studying.
What you’ll see come out of that on a staff, I believe can be greater than you possibly can probably think about. That stated, as you undergo your life you may’t simply encounter every individual and be like, “Right here’s a check. I want you to take this.” However if you happen to spend a while in it even if you happen to’re simply spend time on you and your kind construction, we’re all in numerous methods, we’re all of the enneagram numbers. You’ll be able to’t be utterly divorced from any a part of it ultimately, the enneagram is the entire human expertise. And so that you begin to get a way if you happen to meet someone who, man, it simply appears like each time you carry one thing up, they simply wish to struggle you and it looks as if they like preventing you and never simply you, everyone. They only at all times wish to struggle.
And people type of folks you may suppose, “Man, what a jerk,” most likely, somebody who’s an eight you don’t know. However from that, you may actually begin understanding the rationale they’re that method is as a result of they actually care. Eights deep at their core, are essentially the most mushy jelly loving folks and however they’re tremendous delicate and their method of coping with that and ensuring that everyone that they care about whether or not it’s on a piece staff or a household, they’re going to go struggle. And so if you happen to can see it for what it’s then you definitely’ll see it for that versus “Man, what a jerk,” you’ll see them preventing for a factor they care about. And so to that finish if you can begin to get that sense, you can begin truly, understanding individuals who aren’t such as you.

Ashley:
So you will need to not solely perceive your personal kind however to have an understanding of the opposite varieties as a way to have a look at someone and say, “They might be this sort,” and that might be extra useful than simply memorizing what your kind is and figuring out that. However getting some data and understanding of others is the place you’re going to get the actual profit.

Nick:
Yeah. I might say you may break it into two elements. I might additionally say I might transfer from memorizing to having a relationship with who you might be since you actually begin to perceive that individual. And I believe that’s a part of the facility of it versus a few of these different persona problems the place, “I’m an ENFP,” this can be a relationship with your self. So at that half and you’ll simply try this and also you’ll be a greater individual to everyone you encounter, you’ll be extra profitable in each considered one of your interactions and within the stuff you do. You simply gained’t have the filters and the silent voices you’re not conscious of impacting that. And you possibly can simply try this and I believe that’d be extremely useful however, yeah. Should you actually need the max good thing about it, understanding the opposite varieties and understanding not less than the categories, the people who find themselves actually shut in your life, simply on that stage, suppose that’s a tremendous alternative to actually flip up the dial on, on what you’re able to doing with others.

Tony:
So Nick, not solely did we carry you right here to teach our listeners on the enneagram however you additionally spend a while with Ash and I individually, attending to know us just a little bit and determining which of these 9 numbers we fell into. And I don’t learn about for you Ash, however nearly it felt like just a little bit like a remedy session. There was lots of deep, very pointed questions.

Ashley:
Yeah. That was the precise… I texted my good friend proper after I used to be like, “I believe I simply had a remedy session.”

Tony:
So Nick, I believe Ash and I might each love if we may share with the listeners what variety of class we fell into after which simply have a dialogue round what precisely that quantity entails and simply have a fluid dialogue round it.

Nick:
Positive. And simply to kick it off, that typing interview is so completely different than the work you’d do when you’re typed. And I completely, it’s like I stated it to each of you, it’s like a police, you’ve bought the sunshine on you and it’s like an interrogation and it’s intense. So thanks each for doing that with me. I actually respect it.

Ashley:
Properly, the questions are arduous. You actually have to consider your self.

Nick:
Yeah. So thanks for doing that. I respect you taking the time and being so open. I believe what we landed on for each of you which ones is de facto fascinating to me is an enneagram kind construction of six. Ashley, there was just a little bit extra ambiguity with as a result of you may have lots of that seven vitality. I’m a seven so it takes one to know one. And I believe what’s fascinating about that although and I used to be hypothesizing with each of you if I ponder if in communities of individuals like this, who’re pushed to make their lives higher and to seek out safety that you just’re going to come across extra sixes, I don’t know. And right here’s why, sixes as a kind construction, their behavior of my is doubt. Doubt about, and once more, we return to that is your root stage.
All of us work to grow to be higher and never let these items personal us however sixes, have a tendency to seek out themselves doubting issues after which looking for a solution to think about these issues. So sixes can also have essentially the most religion out of any kind construction relying on the place they’re. And their driving emotion is, as I discussed earlier, worry. So doubt and worry and also you’re beginning to hear these phrases. I’m going to day trip for one second and inform you one other factor I really like concerning the enneagram. It actually doesn’t pat you on the again, it doesn’t say you’re superb as a result of it just about is available in and says, “Right here’s what’s most likely, a problem for you.” And the enjoyable a part of working in your kind construction is lowering the influence of that however, yeah. As I proceed to speak to you right here in entrance of all of your listeners, I’m most likely, going to inform the issues that don’t sound like rah, rah and that’s simply the character of the enneagram. That’s simply how it’s.
However your focus of attentions as a six is to seek out the hazards and so that is all of the dangerous stuff however right here’s the factor that makes sixes so essentially superb is that they’ve an nearly supernatural potential to do this, to seek out the hazards on this planet, see them coming, get a plan collectively to both mitigate it or utterly keep away from it. And try this particularly, for his or her small circle of individuals, that’s usually their household, their precise literal, household. However sixes additionally make households out of the folks they wish to however they do that as a lot or extra for these folks as they do for themselves. And if you happen to see a six at work, actually doing their factor, it’s supernatural. They’ll simply see all of it coming and plan and have it found out earlier than it will get there.
So I felt lots of that from each of you. After which after listening to a few of your podcasts, it’s clear that you just’re simply doing that each day which is why I ponder in case your viewers is overrepresented with sixes however, yeah. I believe each of you might be there. If I can simply pradal on just a little longer Ashley, I believe on the enneagram numbers, like I stated, we’re related to all of them however we’re related to outdoors of our particular kind construction for in stronger methods. So now we have a quantity will slide to in stress or some folks say dis integration and a quantity we slide to once we’re extra calm, integration, some folks say after which now we have wings. So the wings are simply, you’re going to lean to the suitable or the left.
Should you’re a six, you may lean 5, if you happen to’re six, you may lean seven. And I actually really feel Tony, you lean heavy to the 5 which is the engineer as you talked about. My brother’s a 5, he actually sends satellites into house. He owns a satellite tv for pc firm after which the sevens are me, simply an excessive amount of vitality and I simply make everyone uncomfortable. So it’s that vitality of positivity and all that and Ashley actually talked about trying to the longer term which is such a seven factor to do, is to have optimistic plans on the books to have a optimistic spin on issues. If issues begin getting tense, sure, sevens stress they’re ain’t anxious similar to sixes however they go someplace with that. It’s extra optimistic, attempt to hold it optimistic after which fives are these thinkers and I don’t suppose both of you’re a 5 or a seven however you positively, lean that method. And I believe what’s actually fascinating is how that reveals up between the 2 of you.

Ashley:
That’s why we make one of the best staff as cohost.

Tony:
So, Nick, I wish to speak just a little bit about a number of the limitations or not limitations however a number of the persona quirks that perhaps make it just a little bit harder for sixes as a result of as I used to be studying, I believe that was the half that jumped out to me. So we talked about a number of the shrainings of being a six however what are a number of the limitations and the way can Ash and I mitigate a few of these in our each day lives?

Nick:
Thanks. That’s a terrific query. What’s fascinating about sixes is, the quantity I can consider, the sort construction on the enneagram that’s the most, their dichotomy, their strengths or their weaknesses and that’s so not often the case. Sixes are hypervigilant, finish of story. And that’s what makes them so superb at making ready and planning for his or her lives and seeing issues by and doing that. You recognize what else it does is, it will get of their method, the anxiousness, the desirous about all these issues that may go mistaken, it may well result in pessimism, it may well result in doubt. It may well result in these sorts of issues which… They usually can begin to spin. So the factor that makes them superb at being them can be the factor that holds them again and in relationships, together with and particularly, skilled relationships can simply decelerate the prepare, can get caught and mired in that house.
They usually can also get they’re involved with loyalty and to allow them to discover themselves in a distrusting place. And I believe, boy, anytime you’re going to do one thing massive in your life, Should you’re going to begin a brand new partnership with someone, all of us have hesitancy as a result of it’s a giant deal. However my goodness, if you’re so wrapped up within the concept, “If I can belief this individual, will they be loyal, dah, dah, dah,” that may maintain you again from lots of issues.
And people are some main challenges that sixes face and likewise there can sometimes, be a self-doubt piece that comes into that. Should you ever are blindsided by one thing as a six, man or man, can that land like a, “How did I not see this coming? How did I not, I’ve this superpower?” And that may actually be a result in self-doubt as properly. And I believe the superb factor about development within the enneagram versus development by different instruments is, you’re not addressing the truth that you’re too introverted or no matter, you’re addressing the truth that,”Man, right here’s this massive factor that I’m at all times targeted on and the way is that impacting the best way I see every part.” And so getting out of that may be actually highly effective.

Ashley:
What are some instruments and assets that we will go to learn to, we’re a kind six however we wish to be one of the best kind six we might be?

Nick:
Yeah. I despatched you guys, hopefully you may put up some hyperlinks and issues. To me, the authority the place I’ve completed the vast majority of my studying because the narrative within the enneagram, they’re the OGs, if you’ll, of the enneagram and so they’re passionate, they hold updating not simply their terminologies however their methods of desirous about it. You heard me say a pair instances all through this, “Oh, some folks use this verbiage and a few folks use that.” They’re at all times actually desirous about how, they’re by no means completed and so they don’t suppose they’ve it found out. And I believe that’s actually superb and I’ve completed lots of stuff there. So the narrativeenneagram.com, there’s two books that actually kicked off my journey that change my life and that’s The Path Again to You and The Street Between Us or I may need gotten the trail and the highway inverted on that nevertheless it’s one thing about roads.
And so The Street Again to You and The Path Between Us, it’s written by a few pastors which is simply from that perspective they’re under no circumstances… It’s not from the attitude of that religion however it’s, it’s their life expertise, it’s their realized expertise. And they also share the way it works of their world so these are nice locations to begin. After which I actually really feel like there may be a lot you are able to do with studying and checks and issues however there’s simply actually no substitute for speaking to someone. So clearly, me and other people like me who can sit down and actually work with you and your particular person, your kind construction and understanding it after which lessening its influence.

Ashley:
Let me ask you this, so after you talked with us and we recognized our kind construction, did you come into this interview figuring out or having a plan, the best way to work together with us based mostly on our kind construction? And what does that appear to be, what’s one of the best ways to work together with a six?

Nick:
You recognize what’s fascinating? That’s a terrific query, thanks. Sure and no, is the reply. Understanding kind buildings simply robotically, as quickly as you, if you happen to’ve been shortly and also you’ve invested in it, you perceive a six and so I believe simply robotically, we’ll return to the Myers Briggs right here. My N, means I’m intuitive so that you’re both intuitive or pondering. So after you have the understanding, I believe you do on some stage shift, the best way you communicate. I actually, am not speaking to you the best way I speak to a one or a 3 however I don’t suppose it adjustments the underlying, it’s perhaps simply talking a barely completely different language. And I believe for sixes, it’s letting perhaps just a little bit extra of me out personally. As a result of sixes wish to know they’ll belief you, sixes wish to know that you just’re a human being on this world with them.
If I got here in like a one and one particularly, are very element oriented, they’ve a really loud interior critic and so they search for every part that may very well be mistaken and so completely different than sixes who search for issues that might go mistaken. And if I began doing that and bringing that vitality, I believe there’s lots of, that might make you guys really feel rather less comfy. So I believe it goes again to that factor we talked about, if you happen to perceive different varieties you may simply be of their house with them in a method that’s just a little extra genuine.

Tony:
Yeah. I’m pondering as you have been speaking, Nick and it’s like, I really feel like I ought to actually simply do all of those with my spouse and my son, my son’s 14 years. So I believe he’s sufficiently old to get the worth out of this however how cool would that be if, as a household, we perceive one another’s enneagrams, we perceive one another’s Myers Briggs, their DISC profiles, man, what may that do to {our relationships}? So I’m simply pondering out loud proper now however man, what a cool… I don’t suppose households try this sufficient, understanding the place the opposite individual’s coming from.

Ashley:
Yeah. I believe you consider it extra of like groups at your work-

Tony:
Enterprise.

Ashley:
… enterprise however not into your loved ones.

Nick:
Properly, Tony, thanks. I imply, I do know I’m right here speaking to this viewers who has a selected curiosity and this can be a little off that subject however boy, I believe if I’m simply going to be actually blunt, that’s the actual mom load of worth within the new sport is what you simply stated. I imply, I didn’t point out it firstly, I used to be going to however the best way I discovered it’s I discovered myself very immediately and really unexpectedly divorced and my life was simply upended and that’s when the enneagram got here into my life.
And I’ll inform you the primary factor I stored pondering as I simply began dipping my toes after which digging is, I’m like, “I might’ve had a distinct life if I’d have had the enneagram previous to,” I imply, if I may have gone again to my twenties, I might’ve had a very completely different life and I imply higher. And the folks round me would’ve had a distinct life too and I believe, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that might pay, I can’t even start to inform you, I totally imagine that’s my space of ardour for positive.

Ashley:
I see these and I don’t know a lot about this in any respect however like zodiac indicators or your horoscope, issues like that. I see issues on-line the place it’s like, “Oh, if you happen to’re a Scorpio you match with an Aquarius,” I don’t even know if that’s one other one, I simply know I’m a Scorpio. And it’s like, you match properly with that individual in enterprise clever and even relationship clever. Are you able to have a look at these varieties and there’s higher folks that you just’ll work with or it doesn’t even matter in any respect? As a result of I noticed within the one worksheet, there was the thoughts, the physique and the guts and a few of them have been categorized. Are you able to go into that just a little extra too?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. So one of many issues I actually love concerning the enneagram too is, as a result of it’s treating us like folks and never like pc packages that we will type into various things, is that there’s the somatic piece. So you actually introduced that half up so our physique half and that’s the place we are likely to course of every part in our lives. So the top varieties which is 5, six and 7. We actually, take your entire world in, we course of it and we do every part we do by our brains. And it not often goes any decrease and if it does, we’re not comfy with it. I’m one, I completely get that. And then you definitely transfer into simply, which method we’re going to go? We’ll go eight, 9 and one, these are the physique kind, the very backside and that’s the anger kind.
It comes from their stomach, it rages and somebody like a 9, you carry that as much as them you say, “Oh, you’re actually anger pushed.” And like, “No, I’m by no means indignant,” that’s precisely it. They’re so good, their total life is pushed by not being indignant. If there’s tumultuous state of affairs, they’re those who can slip their ft into everyone’s footwear, make every part okay and transfer alongside. As a result of like, man, I simply don’t need any anger nevertheless it’s nonetheless anger pushed. After which there’s the guts varieties which I believe all of us can intuitively perceive, they reside their life by their feelings and the issues that make them really feel heat or not so heat. And so what’s fascinating is your query is, is there higher combined matches for enterprise relationships or private relationships?
And I believe on some stage there’s a pure tendency to seek out ourselves, a thinker and a doer and we all know that’s true. That lots of the strongest partnerships perhaps the strongest partnerships ever. Apple, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Jobs was clearly the thinker and Wozniak was clearly the doer and look what it did and so clearly, these are going to be two differing types. I’m guessing, Jobs was one thing like a seven and I’m guessing, that Wozniak was one thing like a 5.
Now, I don’t know however you’re most likely, going to seek out your self drawn to that. However I might problem the notion that ultimately if you happen to’re each wholesome conscious of your kind construction, conscious of one another’s kind buildings, that there isn’t a mix that wouldn’t work. And I believe it’s about that dedication, that dedication to being one of the best clean you might be, being finest six you might be. And I believe from there, that’s the place I really like the enneagram is as a result of we’re all people and the enneagram permits for and encourages you to simply be who you might be. And you’ll be two completely completely different folks and each be sixes so I hope that solutions your query.

Ashley:
Yeah. It does, thanks.

Tony:
Properly, one factor I wish to touch upon actually shortly, Nick. You apologize for speaking concerning the private relationship facet of the enneagram. However man, I believe that’s tremendous essential at the same time as all of us who’re investing in actual property, these of you which are listening to this podcast and wish to begin investing in actual property, you’re doing so as a result of you may have this image in your thoughts of what you need your life to be like.
And for a lot of of you there’s clearly, the monetary half the place you may have this monetary freedom, this monetary safety however I’m positive for everybody that’s listening, there’s additionally a relational a part of that image of your life as properly. And it’s like, what good is constructing this massive monetary fortress if you happen to’re in there by your self? And I believe with the ability to actually perceive who you might be as an individual and the way you’re employed with different folks is essential. My spouse and I, like I stated, we haven’t completed this but however I positively, wish to make her do it now. I say, make her do it. I imply, ask her to do it as a result of I’m positive, I can’t make my spouse do something.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:33:45] we already know who wears the pants in that family.

Tony:
Yeah. Should you guys know my spouse, I can’t make her do something however we learn a ebook in our mid twenties, perhaps you recognize it. It’s referred to as The 5 Love Languages and that ebook was tremendous useful for us as a pair as a result of it gave us a greater understanding of who the opposite individual was. And we nonetheless actually, use the language that we picked up in that ebook right now about how we work together with one another. So that is me extra so simply giving recommendation to everybody based mostly on what’s labored for me is, if you happen to can perceive your associate, your romantic associate, your dad or mum, your good friend, whoever it’s in a deeper method, it actually does unlock a brand new stage in that relationship.

Ashley:
Tony, I believe that ebook even applies to enterprise relationships too. I’m going to an actual property investor’s wedding ceremony and there’s a complete group textual content going of, “His love language is present giving, now we have to do one thing superior for him.” And everyone’s week is consumed, attempting to determine what present to present him so I believe it’s a solution to present appreciation too, if you happen to do go together with what someone’s love language is just too and never simply in private relationships.

Nick:
If I can piggyback off of that, man, if you’re seeing the… And by the best way I used to be a love languages man too. After I say that I’ve been into all these items, I’ve been into all these items. You guys are speaking about, the love languages I dig it and I believe you’re seeing the worth of simply these 5 little, “Oh, present giver,” or “Phrases of affirmation.” And also you see the worth in figuring out that being aware of it after which, such as you stated, are you approaching your spouse otherwise, Tony? Not consciously, however you recognize. So simply on a second to second foundation, you might be. You’re not pondering, “Oh, present giving,” or no matter your spouse’s is, it’s simply there and also you simply know and so that you’re a greater individual to your spouse. And if you happen to may increase that infinitely, I imply, orders of magnitude, that’s simply what the enneagram is however on a brilliant richer, deeper stage.
And if you happen to may perceive your spouse as a 4 my goodness, all of the little particulars, all of the nuances, all of the minutia, you’d be so ready to know these issues. And one different factor I simply wish to add is you have been speaking about you guys are pushed to construct these castles as a result of you may have this image of a life you wish to get to. And in working with pushed folks such as you guys, one of many issues I most incessantly work on is how do you do the love half and the life half when you’re on that prepare? As a result of you may work so arduous and it’s for these folks that you just love. It’s not since you’re egocentric otherwise you’re ignoring them however man, it may be attainable to simply try this. And so a number of the work is an understanding on the journey earlier than you get to that imaginative and prescient, how can we hold life working proper now in a extremely optimistic, fulfilling method? In order that’s one of many issues that the enneagram’s nice at.

Tony:
Man, Nick, that is the place the remedy session kicks in as a result of what you’re saying is one thing that I battle with, truthfully. I finished working my W-2 job again in 2020 however I nonetheless do discover myself working quite a bit however the motivation is completely different now earlier than is as a result of, “I wished to maintain my job, I wished the subsequent promotion, I wished a increase.” Now, it’s like, “Shit, if I’m not working then who is aware of what’s going to occur to my enterprise?” And there’s this insatiable want to continue to grow as a result of in that development, I really feel a way of safety. But additionally the rationale why I don’t ever wish to return to a day job is as a result of I need that freedom and that flexibility of time.
So I’ve that selection however lots of days I’m selecting to actually make investments it into the enterprise. And what makes it much more troublesome is that I do know my spouse and my son, their love language is high quality time. So I’ve to be very cognizant of this drive that I’ve and ensuring that I’m holding it in test in order that I’m not pushed to the purpose that it decimate my relationships with the folks that I really like essentially the most. So man, it’s a extremely deep dialog however one which I’m glad that we’re having.

Nick:
Properly, and I simply wish to level out only for anyone who’s being launched to this proper now, no matter 20 minutes in the past, I stated, “Properly, what’s sixes, what’s their emotional behavior, what’s their focus of consideration?” It’s safety in an unsafe world and it’s planning and all of the doubt and the da da. And man, as you’re speaking there, I’m like, “Geez, are you simply promoting the six factor on objective?” Is it like, “I wish to make it clear I’m a six,” since you actually simply stated all these issues. And the facility in that and what’s enjoyable about how correct that’s man, can then you definitely handle it so particularly, are you able to have a look at lifeless within the eye and begin mitigating its influence?
Whereas what are you going to do with the ENFP or INTJ, such as you stated you have been? How do you are taking that as a instrument and be like, “I’m going to be higher.” However boy, would it not be simple so that you can have a look at the precise stuff you simply stated and know that’s a behavior and know that if you happen to have been doing another job in another place on this planet, you’d nonetheless be combating that actual factor. And that I believe it’s liberating as a result of it’s like, “Properly, I’m not a slave to it and it’s additionally empowering,” since you’re like, “Now, I do know what it’s, I can go get it.” After which of us who’re pushed like that, aren’t okay with it simply sitting there. As soon as, you recognize what it’s, you’re going to wish to go deal with it. I simply suppose it’s so [inaudible 00:39:11], I adore it.

Tony:
Yeah.

Ashley:
And the truth that you’re very aware of what your loved ones wants from you that as a substitute of, “Properly, I’m working to make us tons of cash so you may go and purchase no matter you need,” the place that doesn’t matter to them, the place you’re discovering that steadiness of spending high quality time with them and being aware of that, I believe it’s simply an enormous factor.

Nick:
That’s additionally one other massive six factor, proper? It’s at all times, like I stated firstly, it’s much less about them and extra concerning the folks they love, each time.

Ashley:
That’s humorous. And I really feel such as you use the mistaken phrases for me to carry this up as a result of I really feel prefer it’s on the mistaken message. However once you care about someone, like I took on a brand new enterprise associate and the thrill and simply him attending to give up his job was extra of a motivator for me than me being like, “Oh, I could make this a lot cash on this month.” I labored a lot tougher, I felt like as a result of I wished to say to him, “I informed you possibly can give up your job.” However the way you simply stated that individuals, you care about your pals, your loved ones, folks, meaning one thing to you is a big motivator and also you care about that extra. I positively, establish with that as a six.

Nick:
Man, it goes again to that six factor of it’s usually and most frequently their precise household however like I stated, on the very starting of this, boy, sixes prefer to make their very own households too. Like, “Yeah. You’re my household now.” And I’m guessing, I don’t know however I’m guessing, whoever this enterprise associate you may have now isn’t only a sensible enterprise individual, a tough employee, most likely, are all these issues. However I’m guessing, you have been excited as a result of, “That’s my household,” you’ve chosen this individual to be somebody in your circle versus simply, “Right here’s a enterprise alternative,” I’m guessing.

Ashley:
Yeah. And even Tony has introduced me into his household too if you happen to have a look at his textual content messages, I’m pinned on the high of the very choose few, the interior circle of household.

Nick:
I imply, we’re sitting with a {couples} part right here, it seems to be like.

Tony:
Nick, you shared so many good issues and I actually hope everybody that’s listening takes the time to exit and full an enneagram for themselves to allow them to get a greater understanding of their very own persona kind. However I don’t know, Nick, is there the rest we should always know concerning the enneagram, the way it’s helpful earlier than we wrap issues up right here?

Nick:
I might simply throw out the 80/20 precept has by no means been extra true of something on this planet. You’re going to get 80% of the worth by simply placing 20% into this factor. And also you’ll simply be blown away. Now, my guess is that when you get that, you’ll suppose, “Holy cow, what else can I do with this?” And in that case pursue, do it such as you do with something that’s a instrument in your life. However I promise you may have my phrase that if you happen to simply do it a tertiary high stage factor with this, you’ll already begin seeing simply superb payoffs in your life.

Ashley:
Superior. Properly, thanks a lot, Nick. Are you able to inform everybody the place they’ll attain out to you or discover out some extra data?

Nick:
Positive. One of the simplest ways is simply NB, I’m Nick Baumgart so nbenneagram.com. There’s a couple of assets there however principally it’s only a solution to get ahold of me. After which once more, I might simply lead everyone as a lot as I may to The Narrative Enneagram to me, they’re simply the authority out on this planet. It’s the place I’ve realized nearly every part I do know. After which one final little factor, there are checks and I believe one of the best one is that The Narrative Enneagram, you must pay them 10 bucks. However I might simply say, as a result of I discussed that we’re all related to all of the numbers and now we have these wings and now we have these strains that we transfer to, taking a check it may well begin to really feel just a little bit like astrology, “Each single considered one of these numbers seems like me.” And since to a point that it’s.
So if you happen to do take a check, I might say, just remember to learn and there’s going to be one that actually nails you and never in a great way. You’re going to really feel like somebody referred to as you out in your crap and also you’re not going to love it that’s most likely, your precise kind construction. However there’s actually no substitute for being able to have somebody undergo a typing interview with you whether or not that’s me or not and with the ability to get the subtleties and the dialog that you just guys talked about, the remedy session to actually get in there. So by all means, take a check however hold going.

Ashley:
Yeah, Nick, I’ve to say speaking to you was so a lot better. And like Tony stated, a remedy session the place for me to sit down down and take a check I might simply rush by it to get it over with. And it most likely, wouldn’t even find yourself being correct as a result of I might simply wish to get it completed and over with it, click on by every part [crosstalk 00:43:32].

Nick:
Or reply the best way you wished [crosstalk 00:43:34].

Ashley:
Yeah. So I believe it was much more intentional doing it head to head or Zoom to Zoom and getting to speak with you. So thanks for taking the time to do this with each of us.

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. That was nice.

Ashley:
I’m Ashley @wealthfromrentals and he’s Tony @tonyjrobinson on Instagram. And thanks guys a lot for becoming a member of us, we might be again on Wednesday with one other visitor. We’ll see you subsequent time and keep in mind sixes guidelines and others drool.

Nick:
I adore it.